Motherhood

I have still not got back to work. I am at home learning all the tricks and trades of bringing up a baby. Man,time flies so fast! At the end of the day, I am left wondering what did I do the whole day. It has been four months now. And believe me, each day I have been learning new things along with my daughter. There are times of low self confidence and post partum depressing thoughts. But then my daughter compensates for all of them through her "ooh-aah"s and toothless smiles.:)

Motherhood is such a bliss. It changes you forever. And I feel that change makes you a better person. After all, where do you get to see this innocence? I silently pray for that innocence to be retained for life.:)))

Welcome back:)

Hallo everybody, how have you been doing? Yep, finally after that long hiatus, I am back to the blogging world.:) I honestly admit that I missed blogging in spite of so many changes that happened and are happening in my life. Our bundle of joy arrived on 10th June in the form of a baby girl. :) She has been named "Tunga"( It is the name of a river in Karnataka).

Needless to say, I spend most of my time with my daughter. I think I will need to start another blog about her 'coz I can go on and on endlessly about her.:)

It is amazing to see how a little one can affect so many lives positively!

Anyways, I shall start blogging regularly from now on. And that statement makes me damn happy.:)) I hope it makes you happy too.;)

And the wait has begun

Finally the doc says that I might go into labour any time now. So I have been getting ready for it. It has been more of a mental preparation.:) This ninth month has been real slow with me getting more and more sluggish. But yes, it has also been one of those times when I had nothing else to do except relax.

All of us are waiting for the big day now.:)

I might have to take a small break from blogging now. But I assure you that I will get back to writing as soon as I can.:) Meanwhile I wish good luck to all of you. Take care.

Adios and keep smiling.:)))

Trishna

Trishna-thirst-insatiable thirst! Most of us live in the so-called comfort zone. And yet we want more and more. We are never content and spend our lives satisfying our desires. On the contrary, we yearn for satisfaction!

Most of them would have had all the things in their lives that others would be jealous of. But if you ask them whether they are happy, they will never be able to say "yes". They feel that their happiness lies in some other thing that they don't yet possess. They feel that they would become happy if they were to acquire that some thing. But then frankly do you think that they would attain peace and happiness by that one thing? I don't think so! I think their Trishna will never let them be content. They will never feel satisfied. They will start chasing some thing else in pursuit of happiness. In this chase, they forget to enjoy the present moment. They ignore the smallest pleasures of life. They forget to live life.

All of us know that man has three basic requirements- food, clothing and shelter. So man is supposed to be at peace once these requirements are met. But it does not work that way. I sometimes believe that people who do not have these basic things yet, are the most happiest people. They do not know of any other world except these three basic needs. But those of us who have gone beyond these three needs, keep searching and chasing peace and happiness throughout our lives.

This insatiable thirst can be quenched only if we realize that the contentment lies within ourselves and nowhere else. Trishna can be overpowered only if we realize that the eternal happiness in not in the materialistic things as we all tend to believe!

What am I listening to right now: Raag Sohni by Rashid Khan

The one and only George Michael

When I was in high school, I happened to hear "Careless Whispers" being played in my friend's car. The mellifluous voice impressed me so much. Those days, I was not much into western music so I did not have any idea about the singer. When I inquired,I got to know that George Michael had sung that song. My friend suggested another song of his, "Last Christmas". I managed to listen to that on the radio some time. But I loved "Careless Whispers" a lot. Even now I am still in awe of that song. So I just knew George Michael as the singer who sang "Careless Whispers".

As I opened up to the western music gradually, I got to hear his other hits- Father Figure, Faith, Kissing a Fool, Jesus To a Child, Fast Love and so on. All these songs ensured that he became one of my favorite singers quite fast.:)

The other day, when I mentioned George Michael as my favorite singer, someone asked me, "How can you like him? He is a gay. He was also a drug addict!!!! He has lead such a controversial life!!" Well, I have always loved good music. And for me, George Michael is one helluva talented musician and it is all that matters. I do not want to know what he is in his personal life. It is his life. But definitely we have to be thankful to him for giving us such great music.

His "Jesus to a child" can move you into tears. His "Fast Love" can make you jive. His "Kissing a Fool" can make you philosophical. His intense, soulful, melodious voice is his biggest positive point.

My mom is a classical musician. She usually never listens to western music. Once I was playing "Careless Whispers" loud. She just came to my room and heard the complete song. And then she wanted to know who sang it. Since that day, she has been a great fan of George Michael. Nopes, she has not heard any other song of his. But she is in total love with "Careless Whispers".:)) And I think that is a great compliment for one of my favorite singers.:))))

What am I listening to right now: Careless Whispers

Do u remember the post that I had written about the father-son duo? Well, here is the picture that I took of them, without their knowledge, from my window.:)

What am I listening to right now: Cruising by Gweneth Paltrow

Those eleven days of bliss!

I had just attended one pravachana (discourse) last year by Swami Brahmananda (from Chinmaya Mission) on Bhagavad Gita. I was impressed and thought that he was a very good orator. But then, due to time constraint I could not attend on other days.

So this time, I almost jumped with joy when I got to know that a 11-day pravachana on a book called "Mukunda Mala" would be held by Swami Brahmananda at the temple. I decided that I would try my best to attend it on all the eleven days.

Mukunda Mala is a book of devotional verses written by Kulashekhara, a king. These selfless, beautiful prayers have been written for Lord Krishna or Mukunda.

Those eleven days of pravachana gave me absolute serenity. It was difficult, in fact, to rush from office to home and then to the temple for the discourse. It was very tiring indeed. But as I sat listening to Swamiji, all my weariness disappeared and I felt rejuvenated. Swami Brahmananda's discourses are very simple and straight and therefore reaches a layman very easily. I loved the way he recited the verses from Mankutimmana Kagga very aptly and frequently. His command over language, music and books made each pravachana an interesting experience. Never for a minute did I feel like leaving in between.

Of course, the audience comprised mostly of the elderly community. So I did get some surprising glances while attending the pravachana. That makes me wonder about one thing- why does not the youth find pravachanas interesting? Why do they assume that it is meant for people above 60? In fact, when you look closely, these pravachanas teach you the way of living. So I think it is actually more useful to people who are starting their lives rather than to people who are at the brink of their lives! Well, that is entirely my opinion.:)

It is not that the pravachana changed my entire life and made me a new person. But it definitely opened a window of my life to let in more optimism and faith in the almighty.

What am I listening to right now: Tere Bin by Rabbi Shergill

Few pages from the diary of a mommy to be:)

This journey started about seven months back. I was so thrilled when I got to know that I would me a mommy soon.:) Believe me, this news changed our entire world.

Before we could celebrate the news of the arrival of a new family member, I was down with severe nauseousness and tiredness. I found myself throwing up the whole day. All my activities stopped and I was almost bed ridden. At that moment, I felt so helpless. Still I tried to come to terms with the happenings around me. But my physical condition was so bad that I found myself going into depression several times. And all those times, I thought of this another life in me. I thought about the miracle that was being born in me. This helped me so much to deal with my condition. It was not easy because I had almost lost contact with the outside world. All my chit-chats with friends, my outings- everything had come to standstill. Even then, I think God gave me lots of strength to cope up with everything and go on. So finally at the end of three months, the severity of my nauseousness decreased.

I slowly started returning to my normal routine. I started enjoying the small joys of pregnancy. Today, I must say that I am absolutely delighted with all the changes that have happened and are happening in me due to that little one growing in me. What an amazing experience this is ! I am able to appreciate my mom more as I struggle with the heaviness of my ill-shapen body and shorter breaths now. :)

Some of the noteworthy changes:

-->As days pass by, I find all my clothes getting smaller and smaller for me.:) Okay, so that
gives me an excuse to buy new ones;)

--> My appetite has increased big time. And now people have almost tagged me as a foodie (
Trust me, I was never one before.;))

--> I miss our small outings and hikes. ( Will definitely make up for it once the little one is
born.;))

--> I can't see my toes anymore.;)

But I must say that I have begun to enjoy all these small discomforts. Especially now, when I have started feeling those small movements ( supposed to be kicks) of the little one:)

Two and a half more months to go for the arrival of the new member. And of course, we are eagerly waiting for the day.:)

What am I listening to right now: Raag Maru Bihag by Pt.Jasraj

To friends with unknown faces:)

There is no doubt that internet has definitely revolutionized our way of living. Why am I thinking about this all of a sudden?

Well, do you remember the concept of pen friends? Yeah, it was during those times of pen, inland letters and envelopes. The pen friendship used to be a fun concept especially because you would write to people who were unknown to you. Similar to those lines, we have net friends now. Usually chat sites or the messengers or blogs become the central stage for such friendships. You get to meet people with varied interests and diverse backgrounds. Sometimes you might also find people whom you would wanna ignore.:) But many a times, these chat friendships might turn to becoming life long friendships or relationships. We have also heard of few marriages taking place between people who met over the net.

I must say that I have been definitely fortunate to have had a small bunch of friends with unknown faces. They have been pals who have been there with me over years. They have shared their knowledge, listened to my rambles, rejoiced in my joys and lent their shoulders during times of distress. I have never met any of them till today. But they have never been strangers to me. There are times when we are immersed in our own lives and don't get time to keep in touch with each other. But it is a common knowledge that all of us are there when needed anytime.

So a hearty thank you to all of you friends with faces unknown for being there always.:))) You people always help me to retain my faith in humanity.:)

Song that I am listening to right now: LAYLA by Eric Clapton

My connection with shlokas

It was during my school days. I was worried over something. We had grandpa visiting us then. He offered to help me. He taught me a shloka. He asked me to recite it whenever I was tensed or worried. And so I did. No, the shloka did not give me an instant solution. But it cleared my mind and I was able to think of a solution. From then on, I have been hooked to these shlokas.

For the beginners, shloka is a sanskrit verse that is recited as a prayer in Hindus. It is also very important to learn the way to recite these shlokas because they induce lot of positive vibrations around oneself. They say that these sholkas have amazing vibrations when you recite them during sunrise and sunset. The best part is that you actually feel very good even if you listen to them.

I am not very well versed in Sanskrit. Still I find that the chanting of these shlokas have a very positive effect on me. These shlokas have helped me the most during my troubled and depressing times. They have helped me attain the calmness and go ahead with life.

I usually like to attend the Poojas or Yajnas mainly because I like to hear the priests chanting the shlokas. The priests are actually taught the exact way of chanting these shlokas. So even when they recite in a group, their voices are in unison and that makes it very interesting and soothing to listen to these chants.

I know lots of people who would chant these mantras soullessly as if it were a ritual. In fact, most of the times they do it for the sake of doing it. But the real effect and the power can be felt only when you put your heart and soul in the chanting and concentrate on them. For me, they have worked wonders and I hope they will do the same for you.:))

Song that I am listening to right now: Anjaani Rahon Mein Tu Kya Doondta Phiren by Lucky Ali

Constellations

It is a lazy afternoon. I can see bored and sleepy looks around me. But I guess I am in my own world enjoying as always. Thanks to a friend of mine for introducing me to this song- Constellations by Jack Johnson. Trust me when I say this is an ideal song for a lazy afternoon or for a peaceful night when you just wanna close your eyes and relax. The beautiful sound of the strumming guitar, Jack Johnson's assuasive voice and those simple lyrics will definitely take you to a different world. The two lines that I liked the most can be connected:

To lay down underneath the stars
.........................................
........................................
We drew our own constellations

***********************************************************************************

Since I am so addicted to music, I am thinking of including an information in every post. I shall be mentioning the song that I will be listening to when I write each post. Sounds good, isn't it?:)))

An unimportant event:)

There is a temple and a garden next to our house. A gardener and his wife maintain the beautiful yard. Usually you can see this hardworking couple digging the land, planting new saplings or removing the weeds.

I find this family very interesting mainly because of their two year old son ( yes, I am guessing his age!). This son hangs out with his dad or mom when they are working in the garden. The gardener is an unshaven, shabby fellow. He works absentmindedly without caring for anything and anyone. I watch the father-son duo from my room's window. The son follows his dad everywhere. He has learnt to walk very recently. He toddles behind his dad, falls down on the mud, gets up immediately, and tries to catch up with his dad. He tries to cling onto his dad as he sits and digs the garden. He kisses his father and hugs him tight. Now the don't-care dad softens up a bit, pats his son and gets back to work. The son ruffles his dad's hair and snatches the spade from him. He tries his hand at digging even though the spade looks bigger than him.:) His father looks at him very proudly. He grins at his son and takes back the spade. I think that is one of the rare moments when the gardener actually smiles.

The gardener continues to work. The son clings onto his dad again and kisses him.

I look at the father-son duo lost in their own world. It is such a touching sight.

Second Happy Budday

The 2nd anniversary of this blog has silently passed away. When I look back, I did lesser writing than the first year. But I enjoyed writing those fewer posts in the second year.:)

Thanks to all you readers for all the encouragement and support. All your online and offline comments motivate me to write more and more. :)) Hopefully in the coming year, my blog will reflect all the new, enriching experiences I am gonna have.

So you people take care and keep reading.:)))

Mungaru Male

When I heard of "Mungaru Male", I was not very interested. That was because I was just back from another movie, "Kallarali Hoovagi" and my experience was not very good. So I turned a deaf ear to the praises of "Mungaru Male". But then I decided to listen to its music.

I was just mesmerised when I heard the songs, especially "Anisuthide". I heard them again and again until I decided that I had to watch the movie. So one fine day, I pulled my friend along with me to the movie. And I fell in love with this movie.:) I would rather call it a beautiful poem.From the title to the song, to the lyrics, to the amazing photography and to the simple yet touching story, it depicts a poem to me. And of course, how can I forget the rain that is there throughout the movie? After all, "Mungaru Male" means the first rains of the rainy season.

All the artists have done a great job, especially Ganesh. I never thought that he would put up such a natural performance. I think the freshness of the actors, the director, the music and the lyrics strike you when you watch the film. The story is nothing new but it has been given a very refreshing narration. And so all these factors make the movie a family entertainer.

"Mungaru Male" is going to be in my memory for a long, long time. I have been enjoying its music thoroughly. Mano Murthy has done a fabulous job in rendering some melodious numbers.

Okey-dokey, I am getting back to listening to "Anisuthide". It is a song that has been tailor-made for Sonu Nigam. I would definitely recommend that song if you are looking out for a melodious number.:))

Sur Prabhat on 26th Jan, 2007

Every year on 26th January, we look forward to "Sur Prabhat" organized by Rajguru Smriti at Chitrakala Parishath. Usually the music concerts are held all-night long or in the evenings. Most of the times, I can never sit through the all-night concerts. So I rarely get to listen to the morning ragas live in a concert. "Sur Prabhat" is one event that gives me the opportunity to enjoy the morning ragas. An added luxury is that we get to listen to the soul stirring music amidst nature in an open space.:)

This year's "Sur Prabhat" was more special to me because the eminent musician performing this time was none other than Sanjeev Abhayankar. For those of you who do not know, Sanjeev is the disciple of Pandit Jasraj. In fact, you can see the impact of the guru in Sanjeev's voice and his style of singing. I have always enjoyed listening to his records. So this was one occasion for which I was eagerly waiting.

Sanjeev began the concert with Raag Ahir Bhairav, continued with Bhatiyar and sang a self-composed holi song. And then he presented a beautiful bandish of Raag Charukeshi which is very rarely sung and he ended the concert with Raag Bhairavi. He said that the environment was a perfect one for the morning concert and he was inspired by it.

It was a beautiful experience sitting amidst greenery and listening to the mellifluous yet powerful voice of Sanjeev Abhayanakar. His ease at the toughest taans, his expertise in the raagas and his interaction with the audience made the concert more interesting and enjoyable. For a moment I forgot the real world and got drifted away in the soulful music.

I hope we will get to attend such concerts again and again. We definitely need more of such concerts to rejuvenate ourselves. :)

Thought for 25th Jan

"My whole effort is to make your morality spontaneous. You should be conscious and alert, and respond to every situation with absolute consciousness. Then whatever you do is right. It is not a question of actions being right or wrong, it is a question of consciousness - whether you are doing it consciously or unconsciously like a robot."

- Osho

A no-no to spreading :( instead of :)

She is in high spirits. She looks so happy and contented. I try to get inspired by her good mood. But then I feel that I have to share this thing that has been bothering me since yesterday. I always feel the need to share my thoughts with her as we have always been very close pals. So I cry my heart out to her. She listens to me and assures me that things will get better with time. I feel a bit relieved after talking to her. I get back to my work. And then I meet her after a couple of hours. But now I see that she is completely out of the happy mood. In fact, she looks very gloomy and lost. She tells me that she has been thinking about the matter that I had shared with her. I leave her desk cursing myself and feeling guilty about spreading the somberness to my friend instead of cheer. I make a quiet resolution then and there that from now on I shall only propagate smiles and nothing else. After all, I want the sunshine back on my pal's face.

Closer to death

How does a person feel when he knows that he might die any moment? What runs through his mind when he is lying on the hospital suffering the torment? Does his mind wish for the freedom from the pain and suffering or does he hope for a miracle? How does he feel when he looks at his loved ones shedding silent tears and praying for him? Does he pray for one more opportunity to live life to the fullest? Does he repent about the life that he has already lived? Does he recall all his incomplete wishes? Does he feel like fighting back or just surrender to fate?

Not sure that any of us understand what goes on in his mind. Not sure I understand.