Few pages from the diary of a mommy to be:)

This journey started about seven months back. I was so thrilled when I got to know that I would me a mommy soon.:) Believe me, this news changed our entire world.

Before we could celebrate the news of the arrival of a new family member, I was down with severe nauseousness and tiredness. I found myself throwing up the whole day. All my activities stopped and I was almost bed ridden. At that moment, I felt so helpless. Still I tried to come to terms with the happenings around me. But my physical condition was so bad that I found myself going into depression several times. And all those times, I thought of this another life in me. I thought about the miracle that was being born in me. This helped me so much to deal with my condition. It was not easy because I had almost lost contact with the outside world. All my chit-chats with friends, my outings- everything had come to standstill. Even then, I think God gave me lots of strength to cope up with everything and go on. So finally at the end of three months, the severity of my nauseousness decreased.

I slowly started returning to my normal routine. I started enjoying the small joys of pregnancy. Today, I must say that I am absolutely delighted with all the changes that have happened and are happening in me due to that little one growing in me. What an amazing experience this is ! I am able to appreciate my mom more as I struggle with the heaviness of my ill-shapen body and shorter breaths now. :)

Some of the noteworthy changes:

-->As days pass by, I find all my clothes getting smaller and smaller for me.:) Okay, so that
gives me an excuse to buy new ones;)

--> My appetite has increased big time. And now people have almost tagged me as a foodie (
Trust me, I was never one before.;))

--> I miss our small outings and hikes. ( Will definitely make up for it once the little one is
born.;))

--> I can't see my toes anymore.;)

But I must say that I have begun to enjoy all these small discomforts. Especially now, when I have started feeling those small movements ( supposed to be kicks) of the little one:)

Two and a half more months to go for the arrival of the new member. And of course, we are eagerly waiting for the day.:)

What am I listening to right now: Raag Maru Bihag by Pt.Jasraj

Happy Birthday to Mom and me:)

I remember how my birthday used to be such an exciting day for me during my school days. It was a day that I would look forward to throughout the year. I would wait for my parents to get me a new dress. I would flaunt that new dress in my school that day. The whole class would then sing the Happy Birthday song. And then I would distribute chocolates to all my classmates and the teachers. Mom would pack a cake for me that day for lunch. That was my big feast I relished. After going home, I would feast on Mom's home made sweets. I felt like a princess that day 'coz I got whatever I asked for, only on that day.:-)

Slowly as I grew, the celebrations decreased. And now, I have a very quiet birthday. Yes, my friends try to get me into the blowing of candles and cutting the cake culture. But then, I don't feel like celebrating my birthday in that way. Instead, I prefer giving out gifts or sponsoring a lunch for the kids in the orphanage.

But it is a very special day for me 'coz Mom and myself share our birthdays. Yep, we celebrate our birthdays on the same day.:) So definitely it is a memorable day for both of us.:-)

Happy Birthday, Mom. And yes, thanks to all my near and dear ones for all your wishes. My phone has not stopped ringing since morning.:)

Ajja

I remember him every day. I miss him a lot. It is often difficult to believe that he is no more. He was there with me during all of my growing phase. I expected him to be there till the end of my life. But then, world doesn't work that way, does it? He passed away about one and a half years back. But he still exists in my memories, my thoughts. After all, he is my "Ajja" ( In kannada, we call grandpa as Ajja).

Ajja was a very special person. He had this magnanimous personality. He had this fierce temper too. Mom tells me that his temper was unbearable sometimes during his early days. But we grandchildren never experienced much of his temper. In fact, he used to be very, very patient with us. Ajja was multi-talented. He stayed at Kalbagh, a small neighbourhood in a village called Areangadi. His main income was from the arecanut plantations. But he did not live his life only as a farmer. He was into music, drama and yakshagana ( folk dance of North Kanara).

He invited eminent musicians home and learnt music from them. He also compelled his children to get into music. It seems that he made his children ( that included my mom) get up at 3 in the morning and practise music. He played a host to lot of musicians ( both popular and budding musicians) and organized lot of music concerts ( some of them at his house). He helped lot of new musicans in earning their bread.

He was the director of many plays. He also used to perform the key roles in those plays. Those plays that he directed were musical plays. People tell me that his role of " Sathya Harischandra" is very memorable. He was also very interested in yakshagana and encouraged the artists.

In spite of his talents, Ajja never wanted to become famous. He preferred staying in his remote village and continued his service to art. In a way, he worshipped art. He had all the primary musical instruments at home.

He was not very educated. But he knew life. He knew its depths and intricacies. He helped people in their times of distress. And he helped them without any expectations.

Personally, I was very fond of him. He too, was very fond of his grandchildren. He eagerly waited for us during every vacation.

Ajja might have left. But as I mentioned before, he still exists. He exists in music, in talents of his children ( all his nine children are talented musicians) and in memories of those people whom he helped.

It was a pain to see him in pain during his last days. He did not know that he had cancer. He believed that he would become fine very soon and nursed dreams of doing lot of things.

Thank you, Ajja, for being with us. Thank you for teaching us life. Thank you for bringing music into our lives. We will always be proud of you.

On the eve of Raksha Bandhan, I thought I would write about someone special, my bro.

He is 7 years younger to me. So he has always been a kid to me. We fought, fight and will fight a lot always.:-) Because of the age gap between us, either I became a kid or he grew up to my age many a times. We are very different from each other but have lot of common interests, especially in music. So somewhere along the line, a beautiful friendship has nurtured between us. He listens to my woes and I listen to his teenage worries. He is the biggest critic of whatever I do. But at the same time, he has been one of my pillars of strength.

Bro, I love u for whatever u are. You might have confiscated my room, my belongings, my books , my cassettes and so on.:-) But you have also encouraged me in my new ventures, supported me in my moments of crisis and pointed my mistakes to me. Thanks for all these. Thanks for helping me out to become a better person. Thanks for everything. Thanks for being my bro. U rock:-) No doubt about that.

Ahem! Bro, just because I wrote this blog, don't ever think I will stop fighting with u. Hehehehe.

For all mommy's girls:-)

I have been missing Mom's cooking for a while now. She is gradually recovering and I bet that she is waiting to be back full-time in her kitchen.

I think girls start missing their moms' cooking after marriage. That is when you realise the value of your mom, especially her cooking. Till marriage occurs, many a times you never even acknowledge her dishes. You just have them in a hurry, or absentmindedly watching the television. But after marriage, u really start relishing them and wondering when you could possibly cook like that.;-)

Of all the dishes, my mom's mango idlis have been very famous. I remember that we used to wait so eagerly for the summer 'coz it was the mangoes' season. Then throughout the season, we would devour mango idlis every possible day. My dad's colleagues would demand more and more idlis from Mom.

I also miss Mom's pulao. I always feel that the hotels should pick up the recipe for pulao from Mom. Anyways, I am avidly waiting for Mom to start cooking. Ok, ok, I agree that I am Mom's girl and I aspire to be like her sometime-maybe atleast a part of what she is today.:-)

Perfect woman

Lot of things happenning around me. Days fly by. Mom is ill again. I donno how to boost her morale again. She has always been a very strong person. I hope she regains all the strength to fight back.

Mom has always been the backbone of my life. She has always been there. She has been my biggest critic. Earning an accolade from her is almost comparable to receiving the Nobel prize. The best thing about her is her honesty. She is very true to everyone and everything. Never have I seen her lying. No matter how hard it is, she sticks to truth. Her courage to speak truth anywhere, anytime has always been very inspiring to me. No matter what, she can always look at a thing without any prejudice. Her talents, be it in music or literature, are immense. But not even once has she tried to market her skills. She prefers backstage and she has remained there always.

There are pages and pages that I can write abt Mom. Maybe everyone feels the same for their respective mothers. Maybe. But for me, she is the complete woman-the perfect woman of my life. And I wonder if I can be atleast a part of what she is.:-))

My association with hospitals

I guess my association with hospitals will never stop. Mom has been admitted to hospital again and the worst part is that she is in too much of pain. I really can't see her like this. Someone who has been active all the time, someone who has nursed u so tenderly when u were sick- well, it's hard to see such a person sick and bedridden. Sometimes I wonder if I can share a bit of her pain atleast.

The ugly side of stayin in hospital is ur interaction with doctors and nurses. All these people ( especially in this hospital) have an Arnold Schwarzennegar's expression on their faces and they act as if they are dealing with machines and not humans. Almost everyday I end up fighting up with them. Their behaviour sometimes makes me think if they ever understand how noble their profession is.

U start thinking about their numbness with people, especially ur dearest ones. Probably it is a mundane affair for them to see people in pain, to see people fighting for their lives. But still I think they can definitely afford to offer a smile atleast.

It is just not these doctor and nurses which make the visits to the hospital a dismaying experience. U get to see so much of suffering there and reality bites. U get to see those faces which are eagerly waiting to go home. Even though u donno them personally, their pain affects u somewhere. The syringes, immaculate white bed spreads, the glucose bottles, that nauseating smell, and of course how can I forget the canteen food!!!!! Gosh, i really hope that my association with hospitals doesn"t continue for a long, long time.